We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
