Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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