Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
