I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
