jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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