If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
They took my balls.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
