D3 body, D1 cock
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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