he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I think I just shit out all my problems.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize