there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
