it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Four minutes until I can fart!
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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