All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
