not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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