Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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