In the future we'll all be gay
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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