there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
please come you make the beer taste better
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
