I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
