it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
