so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
