are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
