Do you still have your period?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
