I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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