Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
