Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
