Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
