I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
