I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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