is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
