just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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