Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
