Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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