i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
