The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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