ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize