Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
