Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
the day after is always just damage control
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just invented taco cereal.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
