WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
