I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
