"it" just moved
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize