Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You're like the curious george of whores
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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