You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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