dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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