Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
