no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
