super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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