The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
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he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
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He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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