He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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