I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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