YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she woke up with a sticky ear
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
