oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
