i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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