If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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