Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Randomize