I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
