Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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