So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
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