and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
