if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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