big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Randomize
