I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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