we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
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