Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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