Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
